Friday, 27 July 2012

10 ways not to be poor

I liked this article so much that upon reading this in the Toronto Sun newspaper today, I tore the page and brought it home for this blog. This is much more of a Filipino trait because we are really poor, but when you think of all the OFWs around the world and the money they send to their families, it's about time that they have moved on or progressed. Basta lahat ng Ito Ay para sa mga kababayan ko, please share to my fellow Filipinos working abroad and their families.

This is from Jerry Agar of the Toronto Sun:

The perpetually poor are not blameless. Anyone can find themselves in unplanned and unforeseen unfortunate circumstances. Most people by their own effort or with the help of others, overcome adversity. Some people, however, are perpetually poor. Why? Because they don't do the things required of them to move up and out. there are 2 parts to this , the first are the Seven Habits of highly UNSUCCESSFUL people:

1. Mismanaging the money they have. Some low-income people find a way to save for the future, but they do so by foregoing $300 Nike shoes or a 30k pesos cellphone.

2. Believing in the quick fix. The lottery is not the ticket to the future and it would be helpful if the government didn't advertise as much. sabihin pa para sa Philippine Charity.

3. Believing life itself is a lottery. Life isn't fair, but the accident of our birth, regardless of circumstances, is no guaranteed predictor of success or failure. Successful people weather the storms, while unsuccessful people see themselves as victims with no options.

4. Inability to manage emotions. Totoong totoo Ito sa Pilipino, masyadong EMO, di tuloy naka move up. Unsuccessful people get stuck in feelings of hopelessness, frustration and anger, letting those emotions rule them.

5. Picking the role model. Pinoy na Pinoy din Ito...grabe- sa artista sa politico, sa mga maraming asawa at mga mandaraya. Kung Sino Yung mga popular pero questionable ang character, yun ang idol nila, di ba tama? They let the unsuccessful people school them on the ways of life, rather than seeking out people who have overcome the same challenges they face.

6. Setting low goals. The problem is that once a low goal is achieved, the person feels that is all he or she can do. Pwede na ang pwede. setting unrealistic goals is also harmful, but goals should always be a bit higher than what has already been accomplished.

7. Believing in wishing and hoping. Pop culture self help programs encourage people to wish hard for success and claim it will simply happen. That is dangerous because it is appealing, something for nothing. It's like praying for success while forgetting God helps those who help themselves.

Everyone has a moral responsibility to provide for themselves as much as possible. The bible says- 2 Thessalonians 3:11-12 "We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat."

Here are the remaining pointers to avoiding poverty: Mga kababayan ko, Kung Hindi na natin kayang Gawin ang mga Ito, para na Lang sa mga anak natin.

8. Stay in school to at least to obtain a high school graduation.

9. Do not have children until you are able to financially care for them. To do otherwise is a form of child abuse. Anyone can fall on hard times, but if properly prepared before having children a person will recover for their own and their children's benefit.

10. Stay off illegal drugs and alcohol. It will not solve your problems, but are causing them.

Poverty is no excuse for crime, but violent crime tends to emanate from impoverished neighborhoods.

Friday, 20 July 2012

Siblings without rivalry

The complete title of this book is Siblings without Rivalry - How to help your children live together so you can live too., I've reading this book by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and as I'm about to finish, I want to keep and remember the important points I learned. The skills parents need to maintain harmony, peace and love among their children. When a family establishes this kind of relationship among the children, it will have a domino effect on others and eventually in the world we live in. I hope every parent who read the book applies what he learns and contribute to the world peace we need.

Bulliyng - Bullies and victims of bullying are created from home so we should be cognizant of how our children act with their siblings.
For the bully
1. Instead of the parent treating the child as a bully, He can help him see that he is capable of being evil.
2. when the other siblings treat him as a bully, the parents can give the siblings a new view of their brother.
3. When the child sees himself as a bully, the parent can help him see his capacity for kindness.
For the victim
1. Instead of the parent treating the child as a victim (kakampihan), the parent can show her how to stand up for herself.
2. When the other siblings treat her as a victim, the parents can give the siblings a new view of herself.
3. When the child sees herself as a victim, the parent can help her see her potential strength.

When children fight - here are the steps how to intervene helpfully:
1. Start by acknowledging the children's anger towards each other. That alone should help calm them.
2. Listen to each child's side with respect.
3. Describe the problem with respect.
4. Express faith in their ability to work out a mutually agreeable solution.
5. Leave the room.

When the fighting is heading towards hurting:
1. Describe what's happening. Example I see one boy on a chair about to throw a truck.
2. Establish limits. Example This is a dangerous situation.
3. Separate them.

Children should have the freedom to resolve their own differences. Children are also entitled to adult intervention when necessary. If one child is being abused by the other, either physically or verbally, we've Got to step in. If there's a problem that keeps coming up tha hasn't yield to their solution, we've got to step in.

Helping children resolve a difficult conflict:
1. Call a meeting
2. Explain the ground rules for everyone.
3. Write down each child's feelings and concerns.
4. Allow each child time for rebuttal.
5. Invite everyone to suggest as many solutions as possible. Write down all ideas without evaluating. Let the kids go first.
6. Decide upon the solutions you can all live with.
7. Follow up.

More ways to encourage good feelings between siblings:
1. Make sure that each child gets some time alone with you several times a week.
2. When spending time with one child, don't talk about the other.
3. Don't withhold your affection or attention from your favorite child to make it up to a less favored child.
4. Don't lock the children into their position in the family order - oldest, middle, youngest. Allow each child the opportunity to experience some of the privileges and responsibilities of the other.
5. Let each child know what it is about him that his siblings like or admire
6. Schedule family meetings.