Monday, 26 January 2015

It's a matter of choice

My sister and I were talking about the fate of some of our friends and relatives.  I know it's not fair to judge but everyone can see what happened. It is evident. What was the RESULT or OUTCOME of the decisions made. We have the tendency to say, "Kawawa naman (I pity her)" because of the results we've seen. The reality is, "It's Their Choice!" It's either you suffer or enjoy the consequence of your choice.

The only thing that bothers me is if they knew the other option. Were they given a choice or they were not aware of what's on the other side? In my job, I always create decision trees. What- if scenarios so that the user will know what to do if they select an option. All the activities coming next and results will be presented. I wonder if the people who made their decision knew these results.

One of my best friends married very young, to his first boyfriend. Of course, at that time they were so in love, she was blind. Didn't see the consequences of marrying young. And so the inevitable happened, they grew apart, one was complacent and another driven by ambition. Her career was detested by her husband, he became not only insecure of her success but also threatened by it. To control the skyrocketing career upswing, he prevented her from going to business trips, speaking engagements or launches as this could be her reason to have extra marital affairs. If she insisted, he would hit her. It was a normal scenario in their household, with the kids witnessing it that she later gave up her career for him. She chose to just have a desk job even if she is really smart just to please him. It was her choice. It was not long before she was promoted again and the cycle continued,  at that time we were regularly meeting for our reunion and we found out about her fate when she arrived in black and blue. We asked her if she was happy and if she knew that she had an option. To cut the long story short, she took the other option after the husband left with another girl and got her pregnant. Now she is back on track, very successful in her career and is very happy. Not suffering the fate of her choice. This time she made the right choice, I'm so happy for her.

Most of the OFWs have the same fate, they end up giving up happiness for the sake of the love ones. They keep on extending the contract because the family need more, the lifestyle changed because they had someone to support their "wants" - branded shoes, clothing, latest cellphone, new car etc. The OFW can't go back because the airfare is expensive. Sometimes, if the OFW is a woman, she will not marry because the family will stop receiving  monthly allowance, the husband might not agree with that and the family depends on her. What will happen to them?- Was her question and not what will happen to me?

I hope all the OFWs I was referring to knew what they are committing to, that they are devoting their whole life to supporting the family. I admire that but just like a project that should have been how the activities are linked to before they left, it should have a scope and limitation. Only until Boy graduates, or until we buy a house or until our business grew, or until year 2015. The OFW should be able to give the time and resources to herself, after all she was the one earning the money.  It is sad but most of the time, the OFW will stay as long as she can because the whole family now depends on her, sometimes the whole barangay.  So was she happy? did she want it to go on? It's her choice.

I am just citing that as an example because most of the Filipinos are grateful for an OFW, I was one of them. Without Dadilo's job in Saudi Arabia, I won't finish a degree and will not be able to work and have an experience that is relevant to my job now.   This is not only for OFWs, making a choice is for everyone, whether or not you decide to do good or follow God is your choice. I just hope you realize what your options are and the consequences of not responding to Gods call.

So what do you do? Know your OPTIONS,  what will happen if I choose this course, what will be my career path? What will be my timeline? When will I get married? Will this girl be the right one for me, will we still have a good relationship even if we don't have sex? Have I done my homework in checking her personality and does it matches mine? What is my personality, what goes well, where am I good at or not good at? What do I pursue career or love? Studies or sports? Do I even have  questions to help me decide or do I just go and do it and BAHALA na? Que SeraSera, whatever will be will be!

KNOW GOD and PRAY for guidance.  How can you know someone without finding out things about Him, how can you tell someone your deepest thoughts if you are NOT FRIENDS with Him? Whenever I make decisions, do I pray for it and seek Gods will? Is this Right with God?

CHOICES, CHOICES. We are responsible for the choices we make, we can't blame anyone, it's our choice. Now if the choice was not right, do we continue? That is another choice to make.

PROVERBS 3:6 In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success.



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