It's been 2 weeks now since I started to work on a night shift. This is required because I'm handling a project (doing transactions) in sync with US counterparts on CST time. The first week was the week of super typhoon and you could just imagine how I was drenched because the umbrella doesnt work. I used to come to the office in business attire, as in sometimes in blazers, skirts and heels (I remember being the inspiration of the other girls at ADEC to wear skirts but working at night doesn't motivate me to dress up or even wear make up, who would be seeing me anyway? hahaha. or else our neighbors might think I've shifted careers and work as a GRO (as if I'd still qualify hahaha) Anyway, I would come in jeans and sometimes slippers just like the rest of the BPAs, ready to soak in rain.
Not only did my taste in clothes change but also my life in general, for one as my kids play and Lito go to the office and the rest of the philippines, go to their chores during the day, I'm in my little corner sleeping. My social life is dead. I miss my online friends, I can't even open and send emails and my last update to this blog has been ages. My scrapbook hobby is not progressing.
What hurts me is everytime I leave, my Kyle always cry and wants to go with me. He knows it when I am about to leave, while eating dinner and preparing to go. It pains me to leave the house knowing that at night I will not be there to give him his dede when he asks for it or embrace him everytime he cries when there's thunderstorm.
During the first week, I cry everytime I walk alone in the dark and eerie street on the way to work. Then the rain adds more anguish in my heart.
I just wish all these sacrifices will merit something meaningful and beautiful in the future. If not, I would love to have my life back. God knows the answer.